I'm a huge advocate for single women enjoying their lives and not waiting around killing time until "The One" shows up. But some days, being single really sucks. There are days when I feel alone and I long for a connection with someone who will be there for me in the good times and the bad - "my person", you know?
There are days where I feel this so acutely and a sadness comes over me. On these days, I wonder why it hasn't worked out for me in this area of my life. As bad as this makes me feel, I'm also so grateful that most times when I'm down like this, I'm able to separate longing for a connection with someone from the negative self-talk of my past.
Before, I thought I was single because I was boring, unattractive, too this or not enough that. The biggest difference that my personal development work has made in this aspect of my life is that I can now separate the feeling of sadness about not having that special someone in my life from some negative story I've created about myself.
Yes, I would like to find someone, but no, that doesn't mean I'm a huge loser nor does it mean that I'm not happy with my life. However, in the past I would have totally said that my being single proved that I was in fact a loser and I actually wasn't happy with my life. I now recognize my value and my self-confidence is where it's never been before. I have cultivated a rich life full of people and things I love. So now when I'm having a sucky single day, I don't get sucked completely down the rabbit hole. I experience the yuckiness but I don't feed into it. I acknowledge its presence and tell myself that it's okay to feel this way. What's not okay is beating myself up or putting myself down.
I now know that the voice I used to hear telling me that I'm not the kind of girl guys are into is not me and it's certainly not speaking the truth. My hope is that you all know these things too.